I grew up in a supportive and wonderful household although it was no where near perfect. On the other hand, the stories of my mothers and father’s upbringing are quite the opposite. My mother grew up in an alcoholic family (thus how my family has extremely addictive personalities) and my father grew up with a father whose father whose father whose father (you get the point) showed very little love and thought the life of a man was on the farm doing hard labor. The words that they were shared were quite abusive in nature thus affecting them for the rest of their lives.
I was born into a very Catholic and highly matriarchal family type. The “guilt” trip was my main abuse if you could even call it that. Catholic guilt from your mother is pretty intense if you are unfamiliar – LOL! Living with her today I am reminded time and again about these things and because she lives in my house it has become a very passive aggressive behavior towards things with words she does not approve. Yes, these words hurt but it is not me I’m concerned with as much as it is the words, she uses for herself.
Lately during the holidays, she has become saddened. She feels that she is alone based on my father passing about two years ago. Yet it seems she doesn’t realize she is surrounded by individuals that love and adore her and knowing that she will always be cared for by me. No amount of my words or actions have been able to get her out of this rut she is in. It is her own “words” to herself that are causing a lot of anguish and pain. Her conversations to others are almost on repeat and are quite sad to hear most of the time. Her “words” are causing her reality.
I share this because I believe that the words and stories, we tell ourselves become our own reality.
· I “WAS” an athlete! (Does this mean you will never be again?)
· I have been this way all my life and I have tried everything! (REALLY? EVERYTHING?)
· I don’t have time! (If you say you don’t – you don’t)
· That’s way too expensive! (So is Starbucks on a daily basis with what effect or the price of doing nothing)
· I just can’t lose the weight. (You can’t or you aren’t willing to do the work?)
I used to believe that manifestation was bullshit. I now take this back. Manifestation occurs over time as you begin to believe the words you tell yourself and those words become your reality. If you always believe that you “were” (past tense) an athlete, then you will never live like an athlete again in your life. If you continue to tell yourself, you have tried everything – then why try again? It’s interesting those that have no time, I see pictures of them out on a Friday or Saturday night living it up – come on – make time for you if you want this life to be fruitful. Expensive – YouTube is free, and you can find anything and everything you need there – you have to just do it! I just can’t lose the weight – actually your unwilling to do what it takes in order to do so and the pain of being unhappy with your looks is still not great enough to take the actions necessary to lose it.
All of this will catch up one day with or without you wanting it to.
I am living this as we speak with my father passing of congestive heart failure and my mother not handling her depressive state properly. As a trainer I wish I could force individuals to drink the cool aid but I cannot. This decision has to be on their own and sometimes it’s painful to watch.
Do you find yourself in an insanity cycle where your negative words and stories you tell yourself get you into a major funk? Here are two simple pointers from the fitness realm that I’ve learned and used over my years of living this thing called life you can start today:
1. When you start stinking thinking – switch your thought process to a simple question – What am I learning and what good can I make of this situation?
2. Move – Move like you have never moved before! Some seek the beauty of Yoga; I seek the burn of the punching bag or step class to get out of my moods. Fitness saved my life, and it continues to do so.
This blog I write is to share my personal experiences with you so that we may relate to each other. Sometimes just hearing from someone else about their struggles helps realize we are not alone and simply knowing that allows for a sense of community that helps us in this thing called life.
If this sparked your thought process today, leave a comment and share this post! I’d appreciate it.
As the new year quickly approaches, let’s make a unified goal of using positive, gentler yet stern words with ourselves so that our realities become ones of growth and forward momentum. Let’s support each other and lets make 2022 our best year ever!
I will see you all in the New Year and at our Rise of the Phoenix Informational Session next Saturday January 8th at 10 am! www.evolvstrong.com/riseofthephoenix for more information.
Also please join us for our special holiday schedule this weekend! More info below.
Your Trainer – C.J. & Team UpMo/eVOLV