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The feeling of SHAME comes in many forms.... I know!

I vividly remember the first time I felt shame. It was between my fifth and sixth grade year. It was the summer of my “spring awakening.” I grew up in a very conservative Hispanic catholic family. It was the first time in my life where I begun having “feelings” for individuals I was taught was “wrong” and “sacrilegious.” I remember fighting those feelings as hard as I could. It obviously didn’t work and growing up in the 80’s at the peak of the AIDS epidemic, everything on the news and in conversations I overheard was that GOD was punishing those who were like me. As a confused young teenager, I only felt that something was terribly wrong with me, and I was continually disgusted with myself.

On top of this feeling my mother didn’t want me to go to the same school as my brothers for middle school. They started using drugs and my mother felt that I needed something better. So, I was sent to a school where all the kids were being picked up in Mercedes and BMWs while I had to wait for my mother in our station wagon with fake wood panels that were pealing, and the exhaust smoked. I would wear my brothers hand me downs while others were wearing “Z Cavarricis.” I also lost all my prior friends. The straw that broke the camels back were the shoes that my mom could afford. They were the plastic payless shoes that I wore in gym class. By the end of the first year my feet stunk so bad that the other guys in class would make fun of me. I finally had enough and beat the shit out of one of them. I got in trouble but my mom being who she was, put me into the martial arts academy. Her reasoning is if I were wanting to fight – I could fight for real.

I know that extra cost on my parents was tough, and they made many sacrifices for me to be there. All of which I have come to appreciate today. It was only then that my feelings of shame begun to lessen little by little. It was only through martial arts that I gained my confidence enough to begun to believe in myself again. Each time I practiced, each time I moved, each time my body was activated to a point of compete exhaustion did I establish a base line from which to build my self-esteem. Before this I had seen councilors, I had tried other avenues, but it was only until I was consistent with “movement” did things change in my life.

I am always forthright with my business dealings, but very seldom do I go into my personal life. I think it is pertinent, especially this month, to understand that self-esteem is like a muscle and for you to understand my first-hand experience with this issue. It must be worked on continuously. I am passionate about fitness because it has built mine and has helped rebuild it many times over in my life starting at a young age. I was in a hopeless cycle in my younger years that almost took my life from me. This is why I believe so strongly in what my team and I do daily. It truly works magic from the executive who has fallen on hard times and through movement regains their confidence and their business once again flourishes to the women who feel invisible/defeated with a little consistency and time regain their swagger/groove! I see these miracles daily. I help you achieve these types of results. That is our job here at eVOLV!

I send my love to all of you in this month of pride and I celebrate with you the wonderful diversity of our colorful community! I am proud of who we are and what for what eVOLV stands. It has taken a lot of work to get here, and it will take more work for where we wish to grow! I thank those of you who use our services for allowing us to do what we love. For those interested I openly invite you to see what we are all about. We would love to have you with us. Take advantage of a free consultation, no hard sales – promise, to see if we can help you achieve the results you wish and to improve your self-esteem. If you have feelings of shame, I’m quite sure we can help take those feelings away. We are a supportive and inclusive community of people that inspire you to better yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. We stand ready to help.

In recognition of our colorful tribe, we invite you to order one of our special addition shirts below. Only $20. You may click this link to order now: These are made to order so be patient with your order. Viola is the lead on this so complain to her if needed! LOL! Kidding aside – we love you all!

Remember Start Strong, Stay Strong & Always Be eVOLV Strong!

Your trainers – C.J. & Team eVOLV

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