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Shame Makes You Fat!

Is that a bold statement or what? Made you read my note thus far though right? Hear me out a bit as I explain.

Growing up in a stout Catholic Hispanic family with a very dominate mother and a very proud Chicano father, I was always expected to “meet & or exceed the preconceived mold” of being a Chavez Male! If you are unfamiliar with this just look at my oldest brother. Star Quarterback on the Football team, State Wrestling Champion, the hottest girls every weekend, homecoming court and then onto a Captain into the US Air Force, married and kids to boot. He is 12 years older than I so the expectations of following in his footsteps were profound.

Then comes my middle brother who to this day still hasn’t found out who he really is and went from drugs to God. Both of which are on the unhealthy extreme sides of the spectrum and with no middle ground. So C.J. being the kid that I was, I grew up with the extreme expectations of being better than my older brother and trying to make up for my middle brothers, let’s just say, shit.

First off, I grew up a chubby kid and always had to have the “Husky” pants. My oldest brother received my dad’s jeans, literally and figuratively, and was always athletic looking his entire life. Dealing with image issues first and then coming into my own sexually, I begin realizing that I was never going to “fit into the mold” that I was expected to fit into. Holy Shit! All I begin knowing was Shame and Humiliation. Most of it though was my own brought on by me for not being able to meet the expectations of those I looked up to all my life.

My parents were for the most part supportive, but I hid most of who I was growing up and I tried my best to meet certain expectations. I fought in the rings of NASKA and USKA becoming a national champion, I received a full presidential scholarship to college, I even achieved my alumni status from the Harvard Graduate School of Business. I was forever trying to please my parents in all I did, foregoing my own self-worth and desires. This led me into some deep and dark places when finally, I had nothing left and was just about done with life, I finally had to find my own way. I confronted my Shame and began handling it constructively. This changed my entire life.

See I used awards, money, drugs, and alcohol to try to hide my shame and it brought me nothing but heart ache and more guilt because it was a lie. When I finally hit bottom, I realized that being who I am and finally “connecting” to my real self and caring for myself through constant movement, my life finally began to improve.

Most individuals who suffer from obesity, poor health, low self-esteem suffer from one major issue – SHAME! It becomes a viscous cycle too. You feel more shame because how you deal with it in the first place by numbing it with Food, Alcohol, Sex, Drugs, or any other coping mechanisms that we become dependent on in the first place. Before we know it, it gets out of control and that is all we know! Been there done that and now writing a book on it! I’ve built a pretty successful business based on this too, so I know a little bit about it.

Two points I wish to make:

1. Either you relate to this and its’ painful & just maybe it will help spark an interest to change

2. Or you try to learn from this and become more empathetic when you see folks struggling

Action items:

1. If you struggle its time to MOVE! I’m not kidding. Just start with a basic walk daily. This isn’t like a one and done thing. This is daily – no excuses. Keep it simple to begin and then work up to it. Movement causes a lot change in your body from hormones, heart, lungs and muscles that combined begin making you “feel good.” This is the point! Start “feeling good” again! It’s not about perfection its about progress!

2. If you are learning – try to “connect” more with those you know. Don’t judge. Try to understand. Then just be an ear and offer empathy not direction. This will be much more valuable to the person then your orders or ideas. Just be there and listen. You may just save a life!

This message is a little deep today. I do hope that on either side it sparks an internal conversation on ways to improve your well-being. My intent is to connect to you so you know you are not alone and those suffering or needing help – there is hope. It’s not easy, but with movement and more you can improve your situation.

Reach out if ready. My team and I are here and ready.

Now for my shameless plugs on business – please allow me:

1. Welcome to all those going to Puerto Vallarta – Holy Moly this is an amazing group of people and thank you for your support – over 25 peeps so far. Daily Yoga on the Beach, Water Aerobics, Sand Volleyball, Ski-Do’s, and much much more with amazing food and yes – unlimited alcohol – this is going to be a trip to remember. We have a few rooms left at the current rate – once sold out – we are done. Place your $200 today to hold your price and spot.

2. The Coresculpt Challenge starts on Monday the 28th. Esteban is updating Zenplanner now for registration. This is FREE to ALL members – so take advantage of it! Six Pack Abs on their way – or at least combat the effects of your diet! LOL! Flier Below.

3. We have a 28 Day Total Body Reboot Challenge with 4 Personal Training Sessions available for $199 that includes unlimited classes for 28 days as well. This is a great opportunity to get with a trainer to help accelerate or reboot your goals! More information here:

4. Tickets for this years Rise of the Phoenix Fitness Show and Extravaganza are now available. Please come out and support the contestants and Be Inspired! VIP is reserved with bottles of wine, beer and light food. General admission is open seating. This will sell out. Tickets available here:

Start Strong, Stay Strong & Always Be eVOLV/UpMo Strong!

Your Trainer – C.J.

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